Disclaimer: The author of this article is a medical professional with vast knowledge of the inner trappings (trappings?! Why? Because let’s be honest; most of us are somewhat addicted to vagina and its Pandora’s box of amazingness. So…trappings of the vagina.) This article represents that knowledge but is in no way meant to substitute medical advice. Further, science continues to fail women’s sexuality, and therefore knowledge of the workings of female genitalia is limited to available scientific knowledge. So here goes nothing. I’m gonna try to school you!
On squirting: Talk about a sexual high! For me, anyways. Some women hate it. Those of you who enjoy and are capable of this ecstatic release know what I’m talking about- there’s a delicious build up of pressure and tension in and around your vagina. It’s almost painful at times. But a pleasurable kind of pain. Until, with just the right amount of pressure, in just the right place, you explode, expelling gobs and gobs (we’ll pretend that’s a medical term) of your own clear sexual juices. On your partner’s fingers. And hand. And face. And all over the sheets. And soaking into the mattress. And on the floor. And sometimes on the walls. THAT is what can happen with a well-seasoned squirter if their partner is a talented vagician. Possibly every woman can squirt (science hasn’t given proper research and attention to it, and I’ve not attempted to make it happen on every vagina, so who knows). But likely more can than are aware, and I’m putting my time and attention into helping to teach you how it can be done.
First off, a couple of tidbits about human anatomy. We all have the same parts but they’re organized differently. This is a phrase you will read over and over if you read what is, in my opinion, the best book ever written on female sexuality, Come as You Are, written by Dr. Emily Nagoski. (Purchase it here.) What this means is that men expel ejaculate in a very obvious and visual fashion, and since we all have the same parts (though they’re organized differently), every human should be able to do it. Further, since some women can do it, it can be hypothesized that all women have the potential. (I’d love to see an IRB discussion of funding for that research!)
Secondly, with the human body, the more often a thing is used- be it a muscle, the brain, or blood vessels, just to name a few- the more well-defined it becomes. That’s why bicep muscles become bigger and more defined with regular weight lifting. So too, the gland (skene’s gland) that is responsible for squirting, becomes bigger and better at doing its job with more use. Of all the women I’ve spoken to who squirt, there’s a vast difference in quantities. I would love to do more research on this, so if you are a squirter, PLEASE reach out. As I said, there’s very little research on this. My theory is that the ones who squirt more have a more defined squirt “muscle”, and that they have squirted many times before, becoming capable of producing higher quantities.
So where does female ejaculate come from? This article discusses an experiment looking into just that. It’s very sciency, but I notice quite a bit of supposition and little absolute conclusion, which tells me that more research is necessary. For now, what we know is that there’s a gland that for most women (same parts/organized differently) is right around the inside of the vaginal opening. It’s also very close to the urethra (the tube that expels urine). Because of its close proximity to the urethra, as the gland swells during arousal, it can make you feel like you need to urinate, which is an uncomfortable feeling during sex. I mean, no one wants to accidentally pee on their partner during intercourse or cunninglingus. In my experience and opinion, this is a deterrent to many women squirting: there’s uncomfortable “I need to pee” pressure during sex, so she changes up whatever is happening to make it stop, instead of letting it continue, and eventually squirting.
So how does a woman work through that, if she truly desires to become an avid squirter? I’m going to do my best to help you figure that out.
First of all, relax. Everything down there. And get comfortable. You should probably start this exercise with an empty bladder so as to decrease the chances of actually urinating during the process. And to make you more comfortable and relaxed and less worried about accidentally peeing.
Ok, so now that you’re nice and relaxed, it’s time to become aroused, working into orgasm. You probably know of your most effective means to reaching orgasm. So do that, and then meet me back here.
Did you finish? Have an awesomely powerful orgasm? If so, GOOD! If you’re having problems with that, read my article, How to Ask for What You Want in Bed, and Get It, here. And then meet me back here.
Ok, done! You’ve just had a very powerful orgasm, and the nerve endings are nicely firing in your genitals and you’re beautifully engorged down there. This part- where you get to the squirting- is where your partner’s participation can really come in handy.
Shall we begin? First, ask your partner to place a finger into the vagina and feel around with the tip(s) of the finger(s) inside at 12:00. Right at the opening, Partner will feel your pubic bone, but just past that, a little deeper into the vagina, there’s a patch of mucosa (vaginal skin) that feels rougher than the rest. That’s the skin that covers your G spot, as well as the glands that do the squirting. Have Partner finger you, being more vigorous over that rough patch. Sometimes, fingering back and forth over that spot is really good. Sometimes, toggling vigorously side to side over that area can do it. You decide what feels best to you and communicate (through words, moans, movements, or whatever works best for you).
As you are fingered, and becoming more and more worked up, you will likely begin to feel pressure in your vagina around your urethra. Chances are, if you are new to this, you will interpret that pressure as needing to void. And truthfully, you might need to. This is where your comfort level with that possibility, and with your partner comes in. As well as what lengths you are willing to go through in order to become a squirter. It’s your body, and your experience. You decide. Are you okay with peeing on your partner a little bit so that you can learn to squirt? If so, continue to be fingered and toggled by your partner. The pressure will continue building. If it’s not too uncomfortable, allow it, prompting your partner to finger you faster and more vigorously until you expulsively unload female ejaculate onto anything that lies in your path.
Squirting may take several practice sessions before you are successful at the endeavor. If you are still feeling the pressured pleasure, allow it to continue until you explode. In my opinion, as long as you are receiving pleasure from these sessions, you are successful. If you are able to squirt, excellent! It’s the figurative cherry on top. If not, continue to repeat the steps of this exercise until you do.
Want to squirt without a partner? A good dildo can come in handy for manual stimulation. Just follow the same motions above: in and out quickly, or side to side vigorously, over your g spot, after orgams, until you explode. As long as it feels good, whether or not you squirt, you have just added an amazing experience to your sexual repertoire!
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