There are many reasons women fake orgasms during sex, and it’s time for that to stop. Unless you enjoy shitty sex, and don’t want your sex life to get better. This article will explain why and how women should stop faking it. Now!
Let’s start by putting this into perspective. Think of every sexual encounter you have had as a teaching session. You are the professor, and your partner is your very eager pupil. (If you literally picture this as you begin, it can lead to some kinky fuckery. You’re welcome. Enjoy!) Think of it this way, and you will purposefully teach your lover how to better please you. Otherwise, he will likely continue cumming well before you, and you will likely continue getting unsatisfactory sex, lacking mutual orgasms, or any orgasms, for that matter. If you’re okay with that, keep faking your orgasms.
If not, and you need to change up your sex life, here’s what you can do:
First off, understand why he thinks that slipping his partially hardened member inside you and thrusting back and forth a few times will get you off: it’s what happened in all of the made-for-men-by-men-porns he saw as a teenager; what he came to expect from all the girls before you that he prematurely ejaculated inside of; and whose shitty-sex actions were never questioned or disproved before you. In short, he’s never been given a reason to change or question his self-serving, non-female-orgasm-giving-sexual ways. You can change that.
Or don’t. If you never plan to have sex with him again, and if you don’t mind that he’s out there giving chronically shitty sex, let him go about his merry shit-sex-giving way.
If you want to change that, listen up and take notes. First off, be brutally honest, and patient. He doesn’t know which buttons to push, or rub. At least not unless you tell him. Chances are, he learned about what women want sexually from watching pornos, and we all know how inaccurate those can be (or at least I hope you know). So now it’s time for you to reteach him: what turns you on the most, and how you like to be fucked. But it’s going to be a culture shock, so it isn’t going to happen over night. You’re going to have to be patient with him, and find your courage, taking care to show him what you like.
Second, approach it like it’s a fun exploratory adventure, instead of a problem. If you insult his overly exaggerated ego by telling him he needs to fix the way he has sex (including all of his ill-conceived notions of sex), prepare yourself for the argument to end your relationship, or one that will lead nowhere good, or “retaliatory” sex with exactly the same sex on his part to prove that you actually like it. He may even go the extra mile (in his mind) and let you cum this time just to prove his way is good. (People go through great lengths to hold onto their tightly held belief systems; especially if they feel insulted, and especially if they’re about sex.)
So make it fun, and perhaps go at it from a point of trying out new fun sexual experiences. You could even tell him that you want to try out this new technique you saw in Cosmo magazine that guarantees any man to become a sex God in 30 seconds. In fact, your teaching him new techniques will bring him that much closer to that goal. The main thing in this is have fun with your “teaching” session. Set the tone so that he will be more eager to play and learn. Ultimately, you are teaching him what feels good on your body, helping him to come up with some new techniques, and providing a public service for any lovers that come after you. And a lover armed with more techniques is likely to be a more well-rounded, pleasure-giving lover.
We don’t all want or enjoy the same type of touch or sex. After all, according to Women’s Sexuality Professor Emily Nagoski, we all have the same parts, but they’re organized differently. You can find more of her information here. So why would his swirl and pump technique that worked on ex-girlfriend Jenny work on you? It’s not your responsibility to become aroused by the swirl and pump technique (in fact you may hate it). It is your responsibility to assert your wants and get-offs. Otherwise, you’ll just keep getting the same shitty sex. If that’s what you want, or if it’s all you think you deserve, be my guest to continue with the status quo. Otherwise, I hope that I have empowered you to accept no less than mind-numbing, orgasm-creating sex.
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